On Porridge, Principle, and Starting Again

What a time to be alive.

It’s been quite the year. Without wanting to get too heavy right from the off, my Dad died at home last year after a long illness with Motor Neurone Disease, so I’ve been on something of a learning curve at the ripe old age of 53.

Last week, in my role as the owner of our wonderful pub in central Bath, The Grapes, I found myself in a marketing meeting where the subject of me came up — specifically, my personality representing the pub. The outcome was that I should have a little corner of the official website where I could just be myself… while also promoting the pub.

That suggestion sent me into a bit of a spiral.

When we first opened The Grapes, I decided to call myself @TheBathLandlady on what was then Twitter. I had great fun there and met so many lovely people who followed along as we renovated the building and muddled our way through everything that came after — the trials, the tribulations, opening just four months before the first Covid lockdown, you name it. I genuinely loved it.

Then Musk came along, and I waved goodbye to my four thousand followers out of principle.

Before taking on the 20-year lease for the pub (which is also a B&B), I’d been a consultant for years — running other people’s comms, wearing many hats, juggling a million and one email addresses. It all just got a bit too much. So the question I’ve been circling back to since that marketing meeting last Friday was:

Do I actually want a little corner for myself on our official website?

And to be honest, by the very act of sitting here now, writing on a new-to-me platform, the answer is a big fat no.

So here I am instead — dealing with a world without my wonderful Dad in it, but lucky enough to share my life with a loving partner, two dotes for children, good friends and a business we still care deeply about. When we can, we now spend life in a small place on the edge of the city just perfect for the two of us as our kids make their first steps in developing a life of their own. The absolute bonus is it's just round the corner from the allotment I share with a good friend, where we’re slowly working on getting things ready to turn it into a gardening club. It will be for anyone who needs a break from the fast pace of the city and I hope it will generate as much peace as it has done for both of us since we started our No Dig Adventure.

The pub is still great fun. I still deal with the finances and keep an eye on the comms, but we now have the most amazing General Manager. Her skill and efficiency,knowledge of the local and wider music scene and welcoming nature have left me feeling, at times, slightly obsolete — which has been both a relief and a curiosity. Alongside these writings and musings, I’ll also be navigating a new adventure in Bath: a site on Walcot Street. I’m not telling anyone what it’s for just yet, so you’ll have to sit tight to find out more… and maybe subscribe.

You may be wondering about the rather sanctimonious picture of porridge at the top. That would be because my slightly hectic life has thrown my heart a bit out of whack, so one of the themes I’ll be exploring this year is getting my health back on track. The porridge — with all the bits — is a good start, though it takes ages to chew through. The gym, on the other hand, hasn’t gone quite so well. I’ve already hurt myself and I’ve only been once.

There’s a lesson in that, I think. To slow down. To take things at a pace I can actually handle. And if I don’t — well, by golly — my body will do it for me.